MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BEAUTIFUL AND FREEZING COLD CANADA
Currently on winter break and it's a glorious beautiful thing. I'm sleeping for 12 hours straight and catching up with my beautiful friend Stephanie Hay <3
In the last 2 weeks of my School of Biblical Studies we were studying wisdom literature; the books of Proverbs, Song of Songs, Job and Ecclesiastes. It was so interesting and inspiring to read simply and poetically the real struggles and joys of life. Through reading Job and Ecclesiastes (2 books on suffering and the meaning of life) I really struggled. For a few days I gave up my beliefs about God and Christianity because how can there be a God in such an evil world and why does life exist and what's the point on humanity on earth if everyone experiences heart-breaking pain, suffering and ultimately death.
Through my journey of atheism, agnosticism and questions of God, I realised a few things:
If there is no God, then there's no purpose to this life, there is no good and there is no relief from suffering. If there is no God, then Earth is full of evil. However, I know that there is good in this world, because forgiveness and reconciliation and love and kindness exists, and those actions and choices aren't evil, they are good. Even an atheist can agree that the choice to choose good and be kind and compassionate is possible. Compassion and empathy doesn't come from evil. It comes from the ultimate form of selfless goodness. And if compassion exists and comes from goodness, then that goodness must have started from somewhere; it can't have just existed because conscious choices to do what is right or wrong doesn't happen by chance through the formation of atoms at random. If there isn't a God, then nothing matters, life would be a quest of the self's pleasure because there is no judgement and there is no afterlife, nothing would matter except searching for relief from the pain through whatever pleasure is available. This being said, I know that this isn't an absolute statement for people who don't believe in God, and this isn't meant to point fingers or condemn anyone. These are just my thoughts after my few days deep in thought as a miserable atheist.
However if there is a God, then it means everything; all parts of life would change through this revelation. God must be the ultimate good, he must have no evil in him in order to be God and worthy of worship. If God has an ounce of evil in him then He isn't worthy of being Lord and the whole earth would be full of evil since there isn't a higher power that's completely trustworthy. If God is real, then my worship and what I can give to God will never ever be enough for him because of his great majesty.
My biggest struggle through the books of Ecclesiastes and Job was wondering if God is even good because of the suffering that goes on in the world, and the sufferings the authors experienced in the books. Through speaking to friends and processing what I think, I've come to the conclusion that real good is unlike the human concept of good. It's actually outside of understanding but God knows what's best, and the ultimate goal and reason for humanity is to live in relationship with God and to grow in love with him despite suffering and pain that's experienced in this earth. Pain happens, death unfortunately happens to every living creature on earth. It sucks and it's devastating. I don't know why it happens at the time that it happens, or why it happens 'to good people' (lets define what is really 'good' anyway?).
Sin has happened since the beginning of time in the garden, and from that humans have been born sinful with a will of their own and not from God. It's a conscious choice to accept Jesus as Lord, as the ultimate sacrifice that was laid down for humanity's sin. It's a choice to accept that even though unthinkable evil happens in the world that breaks my heart and makes me cry because I don't understand, that even though that happens, God is still Lord because he is the ultimate good and his good isn't my own selfish good. I know that God is good because I know how very real evil is, how very real Satan is and that he seeks to destroy every life on this planet, through means of war, disease, breakdown of relationships, etc. And because I know he is real, then if God isn't completely good, then there is no hope. But I know there is hope, through people's acts of kindness that happen through their God-given consciences. I won't ever completely understand the ways of God, but that's what makes the Lord so great because who wants to worship a God that they can completely understand?
And since when did I, a product of creation, create the force of gravity, or the constellations, or think precisely and completely about each element of creation.
And what's the point of suffering and why doesn't God stop it if he is all-powerful, you ask? I don't know. I know he will stop it one day, when Jesus comes back, but until then I don't know and that's ok. What I do know, is that through suffering and pain, empathy and the ability to be compassionate and moved to make a difference stirs up inside individuals. I know that through my experiences that I never thought I would experience, good and painfully bad, I am able to have a new perspective on the world and I am able to help people in a specific way because of the suffering I have experienced. I have empathy that is able to give hope to the next suffering person, a certain type of compassion that can't be attained without experience. Suffering doesn't happen to produce compassion, but compassion and empathy can be learned from suffering. It can grow bigger hearts and inspire a change for good in the world. Believing in Jesus doesn't stop suffering from happening, but rather it gives a glimmer of hope and purpose in the midst of heartbreaking pain.
Currently on winter break and it's a glorious beautiful thing. I'm sleeping for 12 hours straight and catching up with my beautiful friend Stephanie Hay <3
In the last 2 weeks of my School of Biblical Studies we were studying wisdom literature; the books of Proverbs, Song of Songs, Job and Ecclesiastes. It was so interesting and inspiring to read simply and poetically the real struggles and joys of life. Through reading Job and Ecclesiastes (2 books on suffering and the meaning of life) I really struggled. For a few days I gave up my beliefs about God and Christianity because how can there be a God in such an evil world and why does life exist and what's the point on humanity on earth if everyone experiences heart-breaking pain, suffering and ultimately death.
Through my journey of atheism, agnosticism and questions of God, I realised a few things:
If there is no God, then there's no purpose to this life, there is no good and there is no relief from suffering. If there is no God, then Earth is full of evil. However, I know that there is good in this world, because forgiveness and reconciliation and love and kindness exists, and those actions and choices aren't evil, they are good. Even an atheist can agree that the choice to choose good and be kind and compassionate is possible. Compassion and empathy doesn't come from evil. It comes from the ultimate form of selfless goodness. And if compassion exists and comes from goodness, then that goodness must have started from somewhere; it can't have just existed because conscious choices to do what is right or wrong doesn't happen by chance through the formation of atoms at random. If there isn't a God, then nothing matters, life would be a quest of the self's pleasure because there is no judgement and there is no afterlife, nothing would matter except searching for relief from the pain through whatever pleasure is available. This being said, I know that this isn't an absolute statement for people who don't believe in God, and this isn't meant to point fingers or condemn anyone. These are just my thoughts after my few days deep in thought as a miserable atheist.
However if there is a God, then it means everything; all parts of life would change through this revelation. God must be the ultimate good, he must have no evil in him in order to be God and worthy of worship. If God has an ounce of evil in him then He isn't worthy of being Lord and the whole earth would be full of evil since there isn't a higher power that's completely trustworthy. If God is real, then my worship and what I can give to God will never ever be enough for him because of his great majesty.
My biggest struggle through the books of Ecclesiastes and Job was wondering if God is even good because of the suffering that goes on in the world, and the sufferings the authors experienced in the books. Through speaking to friends and processing what I think, I've come to the conclusion that real good is unlike the human concept of good. It's actually outside of understanding but God knows what's best, and the ultimate goal and reason for humanity is to live in relationship with God and to grow in love with him despite suffering and pain that's experienced in this earth. Pain happens, death unfortunately happens to every living creature on earth. It sucks and it's devastating. I don't know why it happens at the time that it happens, or why it happens 'to good people' (lets define what is really 'good' anyway?).
Sin has happened since the beginning of time in the garden, and from that humans have been born sinful with a will of their own and not from God. It's a conscious choice to accept Jesus as Lord, as the ultimate sacrifice that was laid down for humanity's sin. It's a choice to accept that even though unthinkable evil happens in the world that breaks my heart and makes me cry because I don't understand, that even though that happens, God is still Lord because he is the ultimate good and his good isn't my own selfish good. I know that God is good because I know how very real evil is, how very real Satan is and that he seeks to destroy every life on this planet, through means of war, disease, breakdown of relationships, etc. And because I know he is real, then if God isn't completely good, then there is no hope. But I know there is hope, through people's acts of kindness that happen through their God-given consciences. I won't ever completely understand the ways of God, but that's what makes the Lord so great because who wants to worship a God that they can completely understand?
And since when did I, a product of creation, create the force of gravity, or the constellations, or think precisely and completely about each element of creation.
And what's the point of suffering and why doesn't God stop it if he is all-powerful, you ask? I don't know. I know he will stop it one day, when Jesus comes back, but until then I don't know and that's ok. What I do know, is that through suffering and pain, empathy and the ability to be compassionate and moved to make a difference stirs up inside individuals. I know that through my experiences that I never thought I would experience, good and painfully bad, I am able to have a new perspective on the world and I am able to help people in a specific way because of the suffering I have experienced. I have empathy that is able to give hope to the next suffering person, a certain type of compassion that can't be attained without experience. Suffering doesn't happen to produce compassion, but compassion and empathy can be learned from suffering. It can grow bigger hearts and inspire a change for good in the world. Believing in Jesus doesn't stop suffering from happening, but rather it gives a glimmer of hope and purpose in the midst of heartbreaking pain.
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance.
The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." - C. S. Lewis
